From Conflict to Connection: Molly Ketcham Piques Curiosity at PSHRA25

Molly Ketcham’s PSHRA25 Day Two keynote—focused on the power of curiosity—began with a musical anecdote that instantly piqued her audience’s interest in hearing more.

“I sat on the wooden bench, fingers hovering over the keys,” Ketcham recalled as the 500-plus public sector HR leaders gathered in the Hilton Cleveland Downtown’s Superior Ballroom quickly fell silent, awaiting more details.

“I held my breath and listened. I didn’t hear it, so I quietly exhaled, took another breath and waited. Then I heard it,” she said. “My Mom was in the kitchen talking to my Dad. That meant they weren’t paying attention to me. So I could play piano. As long as no one was listening to me, I could just play.”

There, alone on the wooden bench in her childhood home, “was where I processed my thoughts and emotions,” Ketcham continued. “Music spoke for me when I didn’t know how. When I played happy, the sonatinas flowed. When I was sad, it was ballads.”

The same reticence, the same harsh self-judgment that kept her from playing in front of her parents, held her back in other types of interactions for years to come, she said.

“In conversation, I was afraid to say the wrong thing, just like I had been afraid to play the wrong note. When it was my turn to speak, the judgement kicked in every time. Have you ever felt that way?” Ketcham asked the audience. “Maybe in a meeting, or in a work conversation that really mattered? What if I sound silly? What if I reveal too much?”

HR professionals like those on hand shouldn’t worry about such questions, she said.

“You are all good at building relationships,” Ketcham assured the crowd. “You wouldn’t be here if you weren’t.”

She walked attendees through a hypothetical conversation, “from hello to goodbye,” sharing different mindsets—all rooted in the importance of always remaining curious—that help foster more meaningful relationships and establish deeper connections with employees.

The Positive Mindset, for instance, “prepares us for interaction,” Ketcham said. “Good musicians and singers know it’s critical to warm up before a performance.”

Ketcham, who spent time working in procurement for an event planning company before setting off on her own as a speaker, illustrated her point with a recollection from that role.

“I remember sitting in my cubicle, staring at a giant spreadsheet that wouldn’t add up, and I needed a break. But I needed to get this done.”

As she sat there, frustrated and struggling to wrap her head around the figures staring back at her, her desk phone rang.

“I look at the number on the caller ID, and it’s a client,” she recalled. “I had lost track of time, and I had a call scheduled with this client to discuss a project. I was not ready for this. And just then, I saw a photo on my desk.”

The framed photo in her cubicle was a shot of her son, just a year old at the time, and barely able to walk. The picture was taken as he took a break from his stroller at the zoo, and took a few shaky steps toward her “with the biggest, most innocent smile on his face,” she said.

Seeing that image “transported me back to that moment, back to the joy I felt. I relaxed. I smiled. And I answered the phone.

“I want you to have this strategy,” she continued. “Because next time you’re feeling stressed, I want you to think of something that brings you joy. Feel it. And then notify your face.”

Ketcham oversaw a group exercise to provide an example of The Curious Mindset at work.

Scanning the sea of tables in the ballroom, she asked attendees to have a short, three-minute conversation with the public sector peers seated around them, to see how many things they all had in common, besides their work in HR.

“Let me guess what happened at your tables,” Ketcham said as the three-minute mark approached. “You were asking questions, and there was real listening going on. And then you were responding in a way that kept the conversation going. When you do this repeatedly with someone, on a deeper level each time, you build trust.”

Referring to this as the “question, listen, respond” strategy, Ketcham emphasized the importance of asking questions that “reveal the story.”

For example, take an employee who has been consistently showing up late for work. “You might assume they’re lazy, or that they don’t care. Instead, try asking them this question: Can you help me understand what’s been going on that’s led to this lateness? Asking that question signals that you’re not just focused on the behavior, you’re curious about the story.”

Questions should remain neutral, and should explore values or motivations behind behaviors. Listen for emotions and not just words, noticing cues, interjecting gently from time to time, she added.

When the time comes to respond, acknowledge the employee’s emotions, but explain the organization’s relevant policies and what actions he agency is taking, if it is taking any. And check to make sure the employee understands why the agency is addressing the issue.

Most importantly, Ketcham concluded, “respond with both the policy and compassion. The policy shows credibility. Compassion shows you care.”